Petrino’s Return Guarantees a Happy Ending…For Someone

Listen I am a sucker for a good story.  You get somebody who is on the top of the world, makes a mistake (or two, or three, or seven), and then, despite all odds, rises from the ashes like Fawkes in Dumbledore’s office and murders his demons with a good dose of Avada Kedavra and comes out as the champion.  Well that can’t happen because magic is not real so we’re gonna settle for Bobby Petrino and his not-so-inevitable return to the Louisville Cardinals.

Don’t say you didn’t see this coming.  Bobby P arrived in Bowling Green for a pit stop because really who would ever choose to stay in Bowling Green (and I can say that cause I was born there).  In any case, with Louisville just a little drive up I-65, Petrino climbed atop his Hilltopper perch and waited for Charlie Strong to jump for a bigger job (which, despite what Louisville AD Tom Jurich believes, will never be the Louisville football position).  Strong obliged, and with a little swooning and convincing, Petrino returns for a second chance and a happy ending as Louisville seeks to make major waves in the ACC.

Yes, after the fall from grace in Arkansas, it took some humbling and soul-searching, professionally and apparently personally, for Petrino to return to the “top.”  Certainly, losing to South Alabama this past season doesn’t have the same charm as losing to the Crimson Tide.  But this column is about redemption and a chance to make things right.

While it’s dangerous and downright unfair to make judgments on whether Petrino’s personal character has improved since his adventures in adultery, Petrino has a chance to cap his career with what rarely happens in life and especially in public life — a second chance.

Yes college football is radically different in 2013 than it was in 2006 when Petrino left for the Atlanta Falcons, but Petrino can build on what he himself grew some eight years ago before Steve Kragthorpe burned it all down.

Despite the move to the ACC, there’s no reason to believe Louisville cannot win at least 8 games next season.  Consider the shellacking the Cardinals put on Miami (FL) during the Russell Athletic Bowl a couple of weeks ago.  The Hurricanes come to Louisville.

There’s also conference games against bottom feeders Syracuse, Wake Forest, NC State, and Boston College.  Road games to Notre Dame and Clemson will be a challenge, and then Florida State heads to Louisville, but Louisville has handled that before.

And then there’s Kentucky.  Ohhhhhhhhhhh Kentucky.  It should be another win for Louisville.

With capable recruiting, which includes a good sell job on a character renaissance from the head coach, the Cards should be in position to play with the big boys (as they are) in the ACC and to further solidify itself as a Top 25 program in the  nation.  And for Bobby Petrino, a 15-year run as the Cards coach results in multiple conference championships and, dare I say it, a run at the national championship.  And Robert Patrick Petrino lives happily ever after as the head coach of the Louisville football fighting Cardinals.

But.

It could go all wrong for the redbirds.  And if it does, oh man will others enjoy their happy ending.  So if Bobby Petrino doesn’t ride off into the red-colored sunset in the Derby City, here’s a smattering of others who might enjoy a happy ending courtesy of Bobby Petrino…

• Florida Gators — Will Muschamp will be fired after a 6-6 record in 2014, which naturally leads to Bobby Petrino leaving Louisville and returning to the SEC to lead Florida back to national prominence.
• Rich Brooks — Certainly not the biggest fan of Petrino, the former UK football coach and nature connoisseur would delight in seeing his mid-2000s rival drive his motorcycle into the Ohio River.
• Rick Pitino — Let’s be honest, tricky Ricky has not won any moral awards during his tenure at Louisville.  But he’s not as bad as the guy coaching next to him.  Shake and bake!
• Atlanta Falcons — As the circle of life continues to roll, Mike Smith will be fired next year after an unsuccessful season and Bobby Petrino will be…haha no no this will never happen.
• All Things Kentucky Wildcats — If Petrino fails (meaning the first time he loses to Kentucky, loses to anyone, gets caught in a moral dilemma, or pretty much anything not associated with winning every single game), then the glee of the Kentucky Wildcat fan will be unmatched.  Heck even viewing the University of Louisville as a moral cesspool thanks to the Petrino hiring is fun enough.  But if and/or win Mark Stoops lays down the hammer on Petrino, ohhhhhhhh what fun it shall be!

So in review, the next Disney movie seems to be one wrapping itself around the saga of Bobby Petrino.  There’ll be a happy ending for somebody.  However, what remains to be seen will be if Petrino plays the red-haired, misunderstood hero who defeats his own personal demons or the ginger nerd villain from The Incredibles.  Only time (and wins, and losses, and possible affairs, and motorcycle accidents, and instances of quitting on a team in mid-season) will tell.